True Love

Last Sunday, my fifteen year old son Will hugged me goodbye and took off for an evening bike ride as I cleaned up the last of our Easter dishes.  I don’t know what made me look at the clock when he left, but I remember being pleased that the sun was still shining so late in the day.  Minutes then turned into hours, and as the sun dipped below the horizon line my panic level rose.  He had, at that point, been gone for over two and a half hours, had left without a helmet or identification, and his phone was going straight to voice mail.  My mind flew from believing he would walk in the door at any minute to sickening thoughts of him lying unconscious in the dark (or worse) .  And just as my husband unearthed his bike from the garage to search for him, he came home.

The sobs that erupted from my chest startled both of us.  I hugged him tighter and longer than I had in ages, and, for a moment, I think he truly understood the depths of parental love.  He surprised me as well.  I expected him to laugh at my outpouring of emotion, but instead he reassured me that he would never scare me like that again.  If only he could keep that promise.

He has grown from little boy to full-fledged teen in the blink of an eye.  I can’t believe it’s been almost a decade since I ran behind him holding onto the seat of his two-wheeler!  Letting go of that bike and watching him speed away was the first time I recall thinking I wouldn’t be able to shield him from danger forever.  But I am so proud of the fine young man he has become, and have confidence in the choices he will make to keep himself out of harm’s way.

Below is the eloquent letter John Steinbeck wrote to his teenage son, Thom, after learning he had fallen in love.  While away at boarding school, Thom wrote to his father and step-mother seeking advice regarding his feelings for a girl named Susan.  Steinbeck’s response brims with thoughtfulness, wisdom, and honesty, as well as respect and love for his son.  The words have always stuck with me (that beautiful last line!), but they returned in a meaningful way this week while thinking about how I will maintain a strong, steadying presence in Will’s life as he transitions into adulthood.  I can’t hold onto his bike seat forever.

New York
November 10, 1958

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First — if you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second — There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply — of course it isn’t puppy love.

But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it — and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone — there is no possible harm in saying so — only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another — but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Fa

*from Steinbeck: A Life in Letters

Necessary Luxuries

 

DSC_0062 Happy Monday to you!  Though I’m sad to say goodbye to this weekend filled with family, friends and gorgeous weather, the bouquet I put together for our Easter celebration will make me seriously happy all week long.  Fresh flowers are on my list of necessary luxuries, along with: Friday night sushi, traditional Sunday dinners at home, the exquisite custom letterpress stationery my friend Amy created for me, runs by the lake, coffee dates with friends, and a handful of embarrassingly expensive hair and skin care products.  Do you have any little luxuries you hate to live without?   DSC_0066 DSC_0071photo 3

This Weekend: Best of the Fest Children’s Film Series and The Antiques & Garden Fair

 

Last weekend I had the pleasure of attending the first installment of Best of the Fest Children’s Film Series, produced by Chicago’s Facets Multi-Media and presented at Gorton Community Center in Lake Forest.  Milos Stehlik (pictured above), founder of Facets, travels the world to find films for children that engage, entertain, and empower.  Last Sunday’s short films carried themes of persistence, music, love, acceptance, courage, and the environment that were told mainly from children’s perspectives but loved by viewers of all ages.   The familiar sounds of children’s chatter, wiggling seats, and rustling popcorn bags came only in the moments between short films.  During the showings, kids in attendance were completely engrossed in the films, letting out bursts of infectious giggles and sometimes shouting enthusiastic proclamations of plot discovery.   This Sunday, April 13th, Facets returns to Gorton at 4pm to present three book-based short films, including the Oscar winning “The Gruffalo.”  Seating is limited but tickets are still available on Gorton’s website (link here).  Tickets are also available on Gorton’s site for the last installment on April 27th.

Also this weekend is one of my favorite Chicago Botanic Garden events, the Antiques and Garden Fair.  Friday through Sunday from 10am to 5pm each day, gorgeous floral displays surround 120 booths filled with treasures from around the world.  Year after year I walk out with a lighter wallet and a heavier trunk (remember this goody from last year?)!  Tickets available on the Chicago Botanic Garden’s site (here).

Happy Early Weekend! xo

The Aesthete and the Dilettante Featured in Forest & Bluff

I was absolutely delighted that the aesthete and the dilettante was featured in the April issue of Forest & Bluff Magazine!  A huge thank you to Ann Marie Scheidler, the editorial director of Forest & Bluff, for writing such a kind and thoughtful article.  It’s an honor to be on the pages of a magazine I truly love!  To read the article, click here.

above photo by Jim Prisching from Forest & Bluff article

Spring Style: Steal This Look

Spring Style: Steal This Look
Is anyone else desperate for color?  Stepping into spring with colorful statement loafers and wear-with-everything blue basics will be an instant mood lifter.  Topped with a neutral leather or military inspired jacket and a patterned scarf, you’ll have the perfect ensemble to combat April’s mercurial nature.  For a more polished look, pair solid dark denim with a crisp oxford and your favorite gold accessories.  Either way, your shoes will be the star!

Ray-ban aviators
revolveclothing.com

Olivia Palermo’s loafers shown in above photo (via pinterest) are by Pretty Loafers and are currently unavailable, though you can leave your e-mail address on the site for notification of future availability.  They have many great options in stock!